calculations
Today I counted all the cameras I encountered at work: one on parking garage level 3 (presumably one on every other level: P2, P1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6); one at the elevator from the parking garage to the main walkway; two outside the back door of the building; one at the security desk; one at each elevator bay separated by a series of badge-required gates; one at the vending machine in the kitchenette on the third floor (presumably one on every other level: 1, 2, and 4 and in the other two buildings, also four floors each); one on my laptop; one on the front of my phone; three on the back of my phone; four at the front gate of The Lot; two at the front doors of each building on either side of the courtyard; one in the focus room I accidentally walked into; one in the conference room I had a meeting in; one on each of my coworker’s computers; minimum one on each of my coworker’s cellphones; one rearview camera on my truck; one on every car in the parking lot manufactured after a certain year (total garage capacity: 1500); one front camera on certain models of certain cars manufactured after a certain year (total potential unknown).
As I calculated these amounts, B. approached me at my desk, coming to release his daily allotment of anger. It became a ritual of our relationship to vent—almost always the venting flowed one way: from the furnace of his anger to the icebox of my personality. Sometimes I felt similarly, and fueled the frustration. He complained about the actions of another team that had cross-dependencies with both of ours, going on, at length, about their lack of due diligence, of constantly turning to him and kicking the can.
“I can say this because I’m the kind of person that’s very self-critical. I’m very aware of my own flaws. It’s the only way I can get better. I guess it’s the Virgo in me.”
I understood his frustrations, and expressed my own discontent with the team in question.
“When I have my yearly review next month, I’m going to go in on myself to D. I can sense all the ways that I’m failing, all the things I’m doing poorly. I can handle criticism from anyone; it’ll never be as hard on me as I am myself,” I said.
We continued at length on this subject; sometimes all it takes is another person who mirrors your personality to reflect back at you your own flaws. It’s one of the easiest ways to identify them.